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| Breanne 30 y., Ready couples Xxx wants dating To Bean, It's your birthday soon and I always would "accidentally" confuse it with another to get a reaction from you. I have kept my distance for quite some time now and let life go on, allowing the void between us to grow. I have looked back on my life with you and without you in it every waking day. I miss you and love you like nothing on this earth and yet I was still able to throw our lives away as if I was blind to the world around me. After all the pain this has caused I know now that this was a necessity. We fell in love as and it was so magical that I truely beloved at times that we would grow old together hand in hand. But that was the issue unfortunately. We never learned to love one another as adults. We watched our broken family's and treated our own lives as they did and that was no way get thru problems, money issues, arguments or sexual boredom. The restlessness set in and the end became apparent as our inexperienced minds pondered the possibility of a new life. What happens when a life is left in the lost and found for years? I try to move on and begin lying to myself that this is the one. Nope. Maybe the next then? No. The truth is this, I can search under every and look deeply into every pair of eyes but no one is you. That we forged as and the discoveries we shared in love have left a distinct void in me. I lost half of me when I lost you. There is a hole in my being that cannot be filled because you hold the piece that fits. Please do not misunderstand the intent of this shout in the dark. I'm not looking for redemption here. People get what they deserve and I'm living with my sorrow in my way. This is a message of love, of I miss you and of compassion. You have brought me the best times of my life and the darkest moments I have ever lived thru. You have allowed me to grow beyond conventional boundaries in life with your drive and support. I watched you blossom and grow from a scrawny girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I never know someone could cook so badly when we had our first year together in that tiny apartment and I've never had a meal taste as good as your cooking in mylife as the years passed. I found amazement in something you did everyday even if I never told you. And although I rarely said I love you, I tried to move and earth for your whims. You asked me to you and 27days later we were man and wife. You wanted a house so we bought a shack and I turned it into something greater. This was not a wasted life we had and when you and I put our heads together no obstacle was insurmountable. I wish we could have discussed things with a counselor before it got out of hand but I know it wouldn't have fixed it. It would have resurfaced again later because we were outgrowing eachother. We still had to find out who we were separately and it's been a long road since. Tragedies have plagued the both of us and life, unfair as always, seemed have suprises along the way. I'm a world away from you now and don't know if I will ever return but I love you always and miss you even more. I have taken the time to explore my inner being and simplify my life down to the essentials. I have exposed the weak links in my armour and thru counseling and other methods I have mended my ways as I walk this alone, but wiser. I hope that you have found the happiness you always deserved and take the time think back on simpler days gone by and share a smile with those around you. You are always in my heart and my thoughts Bean, have a great birthday. Scummy Bear |
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