This kid (and most -) are going to whatever system you have in place, at some point. It much doesn't matter what expectations you put out there, most are going to want to go against it. test limits. Constantly. Having consistent rules at your house is much all you can do. You can't control what goes on at her Mom's house. All you can control is your house. If her Mom wants to do her kid the disservice of no rules, then that her Mom's business and her kid only learn rules and responsibilities two days a week. It ain't but that's the ball of wax the kid inherits in a divorce. And really, learning rules and responsibility two days a week is better than none. If it's any consolation, the cleanliness and hygiene pick up when she gets a big older and cares what boys and her friends think. Most girls would die before they are the smelly girl or the girl with funky teeth.. Never fear being the "bad guy." Unless you are a total asshole, most remember back to the stuff you said and say "Oh *this* is what so-and-so was talking about that I need to start doing" at some point. You can't always be the good guy. need to hear what is good for them, even if it's a harsh truth. There is but respect is also important to have for a parent. don't forget about respect.
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