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thank you for your response. divorce is so tragic and my heart goes out to you. i think you're right. he doesn't want to be controlling, just like i don't want to be selfish. it's just something that happened to us. but if we're vigilant (and counseling is a good idea i think we need to figure out a seriously codified system of communication at this point) than we can learn from each other. i so. thanks. good luck and happy trails.
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