but now you're back again, and I believe you're really trying. For one thing, it is not your job to make your wife happy, any more than it's her job to make you happy. Each of you has the choice about whether you'll be content in life, and what you're willing to do to make that happen- as individuals, and/or as a couple. You've heard a lot about doing things you used to do during the courtship. Now, when you try some of those things, you're frustrated because she's not responding the way she once did. A lot of resentment can build up on both sides over time. Things won't improve overnight. Just keep working making yourself a better person. More like the guy she fell in with. Then the ball's in her court. Right now she be pushing your buttons, trying to figure out what's going on with you. Why the generous giving, and when is the other shoe going to drop? So keep your eye on the ball. It might take time, but you're got plenty of time. It's a basic principle with systems, a change in the system creates a ripple effect that changes the whole system. Be patient. If she was posting here, she'd hear an earful about the part she plays in all this. If SHE'S not happy, what is SHE willing to do about it? Marriage is hard work, and it takes two. Keep doing your part, and don't expect change overnight. But it's a win-win for you, whether or not the marriage works out. Either way, you have learned some valuable lessons, and become a better partner, for her, or for your next relationship. Toward that end, if I were you, I'd start bringing up the idea of individual and couples counseling.
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