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giving her another to control (that 'smothering' as you it is a controlling technique) would be irresponsible. No, no could possibly benefit from that kind of '-'. Because it doesn't come from a place. She can't take care of herself and get her life together, how in the world could she possibly provide a safe and stable environment for a? You bring a into your life because you have room in your heart and home, not because you are lonely and need someone to focus your attention on (to avoid yourself). There's a difference between being dedicated, and being obsessive. She already stated she's obsessive, so again subjecting a to that kind of 'all the time control' would not be. Am I saying that who are in the system should stay in the system rather than go to homes where a parent figure is unbalanced? I wouldn't know as I never had the to be in the system, I just bounced from unstable person to unstable person. Putting a messed up (and yeah, the have been taken for a reason, mostly from abusive homes) with a messed up adult = messed up. Going from total freedom of neglect (no one to answer to, no rules) to suddenly being smothered and micromanaged is a great way to cripple a for life. She emotionally damaged one (prior to the divorce emotional dumping), and you think it's a good idea to give her another? Really?
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